Let's Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster
by Quibily
Summary: Finn doesn't know if he can take his desire for Rachel much longer, and he takes drastic action that endangers his and Rachel's relationship. This is a collaboration with shipper-swabbie.  Also a spec-fic planned before "Furt" aired.
1. Deserving Of

**Let's Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster: A Collaboration Between Shipper_Swabbie and Quincer**

_A/N: _This is a spec-fic inspired by our ideas about what we would make happen in "Furt" and "Sectionals," based on Sectionals spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, please come back and read later! It has been so much fun to work on this with Jillian (/~Shipper_Swabbie). She has Fichel fiction of her own, and I highly recommend you read them! Without further ado, the first chapter of our collab fic!

* * *

Finn Hudson was frustrated. He loved Rachel more than anything, but the more time he spent with her the crazier she was making him. He felt as though every time they made-out, he just couldn't get close enough to her. He wanted her everywhere, and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

Every time she walked way from one of their more _intimate _experiences, he marveled at her restraint. How could girls so that? Just walk away from something that felt so good? He was actually starting to lose his mind.

At least he knew he wasn't alone.

He and Sam were getting changed after a rigourous training session. Finn noticed Sam check his cell phone, promptly blush from ears to collarbone and rush back to the showers, muttering something about coach Beiste, a logger's axe and flannel Long-John's.

When Sam returned, he was fully clothed and rubbing at his face vigourously. Sam threw all of his personal effects into his locker slamming it with the kind of frustration Finn knew all too well.

So Finn just chuckled to himself, shaking his head while tightening his belt buckle.

"Was that your girlfriend?" Finn asked, routing for a clean shirt.

"Yup," Sam sighed, "Whether she means it or not, every thing she sends me is sexy. I'm losing it, man."

"So, did you try to change your Beiste thing?"

"Well, yeah, but nothing works as well. But I have to be more careful or she might go to Coach Sylvester again… I'm kinda weirded out now that Quinn goes to her coach about our make-out sessions."

"I know, man," Finn agreed, "I always wondered how much Sue knew about me when I dated Quinn …"

"Yeah … So how've you and Rachel been? Has she loosened up?" Sam asked with a straight face, then he started to chuckle. Soon, he was laughing hysterically at the unintended innuendo. Finn cracked up, too. It took a few minutes for their flaming cheeks and flaring boyish humor to ebb down.

"No, she hasn't … Loosened up"—another chuckle—"I wish … I mean, I swear Rachel's plotting to break me. Last night? While we were making out, she licked me from my collar bone to my ear. Then she grabbed my junk. Not a slight contact, like last time, a _full-on grab_."

"Holy crap, dude …"

"T-M-I?"

"Well, probably but .. Damn, I wish Quinn did even half that stuff."

"Yeah, I guess Rachel can really get into it. But, dude, it's torture. The way she turns me on, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I know we're gonna last; she does, too. We've talked about kids; we've even talked about how many kids—and Rachel wants them to be raised Jewish, and I want them to be Buckeye fans. We aren't ever breaking up, so I don't see the difference between now and when we're 25."

"That's crazy, man."

"I know! And she's not even a virgin, so it's not like she's saved herself."

"Really? Are you sure she wasn't, like, joking about the no-sex-till-25 thing?"

"I guess she could have been talking about kids at 25 …"

"Yeah… And she may be waiting for you to make a move. Girls like it when guys take charge, right?"

"Like … Like she's been giving me all these hints that have been going over my head all this time?"

Puck, who had been changing quietly just down the hall from them, poked his head out of his t-shirt and interrupted, "Are you kidding? She gets a power trip from being a tease. Chicks love stringing their whipped boyfriends along. Makes 'em feel better about themselves."

"I don't think Rachel would do that."

"Come on, Finn! She loves to take control of everything she can get her hands on. She's a midget tyrant!" Puck finished, stuffing his practice clothes into a gym bag and tossing it over his shoulder with ease, "Good luck, dudes!" Puck gave an exaggerated, mocking salute as he left the locker room.

Sam shrugged. "He might have a point, dude .. You're kinda whipped, and a girl like Rachel might take advantage of that."

Finn was confused. All this new information he hadn't thought about. Could Rachel really be giving him hints to take control? It couldn't be that she enjoyed having him like a puppet on a string … Could it?

Finn knew one thing; he had to know what was going on before he lost his mind.

Rachel Berry was frustrated. Finn was texting her again: "Hey! Just got outta football.. Wanna hang out before we practice 2day 4 tht song for mom's wedding sat?"

Yes. Yes, she did. She really wanted to hang out with her amazing, sexy, sweet boyfriend, but she knew how it would end. It would get hot and heavy and they would get _this close_ to finally taking that step—and she would panic and force everything to a screeching halt.

She wished she was brave enough to give herself to Finn, but it was such a monumental event- she didn't want to rush it. Especially not with the boy she loves.

What if she did it wrong? What if she wasn't "good"? After what had happened with Jesse, how could she know Finn would feel the same way after?

Rachel bit her lip and shook her head. Glee was having a last minute rehearsal in under and hour. She could just wait to see him then.

"I have to finish my homework before Glee," She lied in the text back to Finn, "But I'll see you at 6! Maybe we can do something after ;)"

Rachel arrived at Glee practice 15 minutes early and was shocked to see that Brittany and Santana were already there.

She was shocked, but kind of relieved. Perhaps they could offer some unique insight to her sex conundrum? They _were_ the resident experts.

"Good evening, ladies! What brings you to practice so early?" Rachel cheered, putting on her bravest smile.

"Ew," Brittany mumbled.

"Coach Sylvester, let us out of Cheerios practice early, so we decided to come here rather than going home for like, five seconds..."

"I was wondering if I could have a little girl chat with you two. You see, I've been thinking about sex a lot lately-"

"Berry, get it over with before I induce myself in a coma to avoid looking at you any longer." Santana hissed in response, crossing her arms over her chest impatiently.

"Just- Can you tell me what sex is like? Like, how long in a relationship before you start sex? And what does it do to said relationship?"

Santana indulged in a knowing smirk, "Oh, that's usually when the relationship ends."

Rachel sputtered slightly in response before Brittany continued, "It's like kindergarten."

"Wh-what?"

"She means boys only want what they can't have. Once you give it to him, he thinks _he's _the one in charge, and it's _super _irritating, so we take it back. You have nothing on him unless you cut him off. Look, a little boy doesn't pay any attention to a toy until he's told he can't have it. So, if little Timmy can't get his Choo-Choo, he'll do just about anything for it. That's when you milk him for all he's got."

Rachel chewed her bottom lip. She didn't want to be like that- she didn't want to be like _Santana_.

But even more? She didn't want to lose Finn. If she finally gave herself to him would he just leave her? Start taking advantage of her? She couldn't risk loosing what they had.

"Can we be done now?" Santana snarked, interrupting Rachel's musings, "I'm starting to get hives."

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the rest of the Club had entered the choir room, and practice was soon under way. It was much easier to keep her mind off things once she had a team to motivate. She dragged Finn and Kurt with her to the head of the room and got straight down to business.

"OK," Rachel announced once everyone else had settled, "As most of you know, Mr. Schuester is busy working on our set-list for sectionals, so we're going to do this like we did the mattress commercial. Kurt's in charge of the wedding on Saturday, and he put me in charge of this number. I know some of you may be withholding some resentment over the whole substitute incident, so I've made a point to include as many of us as possible in this performance. Finn and Kurt," she said, taking both their hands in her own for emphasis, "Want to make their parents' wedding day special, so I expect everyone to have this down _perfectly. _The song is Bruno Mars' 'Marry You'. Pair off everyone! Finn and I will be in front! Finn-baby, could you hand out the sheet music?"

Burt and Carole's wedding was on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The Glee Club's performance was a huge success, and it gave the kids the extra publicity they needed, especially one week before sectionals. The rest of the ceremony and the wedding dinner that took place almost directly after had all gone off without a hitch, and just as the sun started to fade on the brisk autumn afternoon, the real party had started.

Kurt had arranged for a DJ to host most of the night. This was agreed by all of the Glee kids and gave them an opportunity to enjoy themselves without the pressure of entertaining an excitable (and slightly intoxicated) crowd for the entirety of the night.

It wasn't until the DJ had gone through most of the classics and moved on to more top 40 that the adult crowd had dissipated from the dance floor and started swarming at the snack tables.

Finn watched proudly as Rachel danced dorkily with the other Glee kids to the booming sounds of Lady GaGa and Taylor Swift remixes. He could honestly say he had been far too distracted by the party to have a serious discussion with Rachel about sex.

Besides, he knew it was a sensitive topic for girls, and he didn't want to ruin this night for her. She seemed to be having the most fun he's seen since they had met.

Finn was dragged out of his musings by an obnoxious metallic jingle directly in his ears.

He turned just as Kurt handed him a set of keys with a key chain that looked like a hamburger—and one for the center they were renting for the wedding reception. They were both bendy and extremely warm in his palm. Kurt had been carrying them in the pockets of his tight pants all night. Why that dude actually chose to wear such tight pants, Finn never understood.

That was an awesome plus about being a guy. No one expected you to wear tight clothes—like girls were. Actually, they discouraged it. But Kurt was expressing himself, he supposed. If the dude wanted to be comfortable, then, okay …

"We're starting to run out of veggies and fruits. Could you go to the kitchen downstairs and get more food? You might need an extra pair of hands." Kurt saw Finn's eyes go to Rachel, who was joke-dancing (the can-opener, the swim, stuff like that) with Mercedes and Mike. "Don't dally …." Kurt scoffed, arching an expertly shaped eye-brow with an air of skepticism.

Finn nodded curtly and slipped the keys into his pocket. He didn't know what "dally" meant, but he didn't feel like asking. Besides, the music was so loud, and he didn't want to bug Kurt more than he needed to be bothered.

Dude had organized and was practically running the whole event. Kurt was _sure_ they didn't need to hire a caterer and that he could handle it. (In order to 'handle' it, Kurt ended up hovering over the table almost all night. Not much fun for him.)

As if she were reading his mind, Rachel began to make her way towards Finn. When she was close enough, he reached his hand out, and she took it. They left the ballroom through double doors, and though the music was still booming, it was muffled enough that Rachel spoke.

"So, what are we doing for Kurt?"

"How do you even know?"

"Kurt hasn't really talked to anyone unless it's related to the logistics of the wedding; plus, he handed you keys."

"Yeah," Finn said as he and Rachel went down the stairs, the GaGa music getting even more muffled. "These are the keys to the kitchen. He wants me to get more fruit and vegetables for the buffet."

They walked, hand-in-hand, down the drafty basement aisle until they reached a door which was marked "Kitchen." He let go of Rachel's hand to handle the keys. When he opened the door, they were enveloped by welcoming warm air. Rachel shut the door after them. They both felt around the wall until Rachel found the light switch. Finn groaned as the fluorescent lights gradually got brighter and brighter.

"Too much?" Rachel asked. And without an answer, she flicked off all lights but the one on the ceiling, just above the refrigerator.

They looked around and saw that the kitchen was divided by an island breakfast table. On the other side of the table, the floor was carpeted, and there was a couch, a TV, and a children's sized table.

Finn walked to the refrigerator and took out the huge tray of vegetables that was bought from the local grocery store that morning. He set them on the breakfast table where Rachel was leaning, serenely watching him. Then he took out the tray of fruits.

He took off the lid of the fruits, expecting all the fruit to pile on top of one another on the tray, but at least five grapes rolled off in different directions. Finn slammed the lid back on.

Rachel caught one grape just before it rolled off the tabletop. She collected the others in the same hand, walked to the sink to rinse the grapes with water. She walked over to lean on the counter top across from Finn again, and she smiled. Finn smiled, too.

"Heels always looked super uncomfortable," Finn mentioned randomly, "But I like that, since you're wearing them, I can…" And he gently kissed her. "I mean, it's easier .."

She let her one free hand linger down his face. He did the same, and she kissed his palm.

Then her smile sank to a secret smile.

"I can even do this," and she put up a grape to his face, and he ate it. He bit into it and juice splattered onto her nose. She creased her nose, making him chuckle.

"Well, it's easier," Finn said, grinning.

"No, this," Rachel corrected him. Then she pushed the remaining bit of grape into his mouth, and he devoured that—and her finger. He felt his heart skip a beat as she stared at him intensely while very slowly pulling her finger out of his mouth and sliding the wet finger over her lower lip. She dropped the rest of the grapes and slung her arms around his neck. He launched her up and placed her onto the breakfast table, where she wrapped her legs around Finn's middle.

They crushed their faces against one another in panting kisses. She rubbed up and down his back, and he sucked her earlobe, kissed her neck. As he kissed her neck, he could feel the undulations of her oncoming moan tickle his upper lip. Then she scooted to the very edge of the tabletop, took her legs down from around him, and led his hand beneath her skirt. He stopped kissing her—his mouth widening; hers widened, too—and she felt his hot breath puff into her mouth as she slipped off her panties and took his hand on a journey all across her bare thigh.

He chucked off his jacket, and she pulled his shirt from out of his pants and gripped his bare back with both her hands as they kissed. They couldn't get their lips close enough, so they pressed their bodies against one another. With incredible force for her little body, Rachel crushed one leg against his bare stomach and the other against his lower back, and he felt the wetness between her thighs on his hip.

He completely forgot the mailman. He moaned, and she moaned, too. She panted into his ear, and he thought he was seeing the world in inverted colors.

He then quickly rotated so that their chests were facing one another and he kissed her until she was limp on the tabletop. He grazed his left thumb on her lip to keep her from jumping up as he backed out of the kiss. With his right hand, he slid his pointer finger between her slit and found her clitoris with his thumb. Rachel gasped sharply, and Finn felt his consciousness taken away by Rachel's breathing, the wetness.

He felt completely outside of himself. He forgot he was standing. He was light-headed. He thought he might go crazy when she stiffened then rose her pelvis. He grew weak as her moaning got louder, and his hand loosened its hold on Rachel. Then she was free from his hand that had kept her down, and she sat up, her arms enveloping his neck. She clamped her legs around him again, and Finn bore them both to the carpeted part of the kitchen, just beyond the breakfast counter.

He had no idea how he got them down there so fast, him on top, without getting her hurt, but before he knew it, they were writhing on the plush carpet. His hands that had been gripping her thigh to carry her now stroked it and rose above, his fingers eeking just beyond the dress's waist up to the supple part beneath her breasts. She was like a rag doll beneath him as he kissed the valley between her breasts.

His whole body was shaking. He kissed fiercely, faster and faster. He loved that mole just peeking beneath the low-cut of her dress; he loved her throat that made sounds from heaven; he loved the lips that formed the words that could both break and mend his heart; he loved her velvety hair. Unconsciously, he was grinding against her—his whole body pressed against her. Yet he _still_ wasn't close enough.

"Finn—"

Finn smothered her with kisses the moment her mouth opened. She pushed him away.

He only stopped when he realized he was getting nowhere with taking off his belt without looking.

"Finn!"

Finn stared at her, trembling.

"We can't do this." She told him, breathlessly.

He was in no state to speak, so he just stared at her more.

"We—we don't have any protection."

Finn slumped his shoulders then flopped down on his back beside her. He couldn't talk yet. He was still dizzy and inside-out and …. so hard it hurt. He fought off the wave of anger. She had a point, after all. He didn't want a Quinn 2.0.

But, God, Rachel would be a damn cute pregnant girl. Like a pink, polka-dotted balloon. Or Hello Kitty.

He had no idea where that thought came from, but it made him want to kiss her again. He rolled onto his side and grabbed her face, and his lips held strong. She didn't fight it; he felt the warm breath release from her nostrils and felt her trembling hands pull his hair.

With a loud suction sound, they parted from the kiss. His lips—among other body parts—were throbbing. He needed her so bad.

"Maybe I could take a quick visit to a 7 Eleven," Finn pleaded.

"This is too unplanned. Too brash."

Finn propped himself above her with his elbow. The look in her eyes freaked him out. It was a brown maelstrom in there—like that last Pirates movie that had confused him. Their hips were snug next to one another, and he tingled down there.

"I'll do it. I'll ask for money—and the car—go to 7 Eleven, and be back really quick. _Please_, Rachel." He groaned into her collarbone, then he kissed it. He heard a little moan out of Rachel—then a prompt, hard, push against his chest.

"Ow! Rach, that actually hurt."

"I said not now, Finn."

"When?" he whined. He was panting so hard from anger and desire he couldn't see straight.

"Someday," she said.

How could she be so calm? The only hint of her nerves was her fiddling with her necklace—his name. Fingering his name. Fingering Finn. Like how her finger had been in his mouth…

Oh, God …

Should have used the mailman …

"Rachel… I love you. I wanna be closer to you, that's all."

Rachel's eyes softened. "Really?

"Well, yeah," he hovered his face closer to hers. "We can't get closer if you keep pushing me away."

"Then I should probably tell you …. I'm a…."

"What?" Finn prompted.

" I'm-uhh … scared to go too fast with our relationship. I went too fast with Jesse and—well, you know."

"It can only make things more awesome with us. Jesse just wasn't right for you. I'm right for you. We fit perfectly together, Rachel," Finn stopped talking, all of a sudden. He still had more words to say, but he was drowning in her eyes.

"Rachel. You always say how honesty is what makes great relationships, and, well, I guess this is as good a time as ever," he paused again. He realized he was sweating a little. He had to spit it out now, or he knew he never would, "Rachel … I'm not a virgin. I did sleep with Santana-but I felt like crap after it."

Rachel caught her breath. As if it were his automatic response, Finn's hands flew to the sides of Rachel's face. He saw Rachel was pale and kept talking.

"It didn't mean anything. I spent the whole time wishing it was you. Rachel, I wish my first time had been with you. More than anything." Rachel's face was a little calmer, but her lower lip still sunk like when she was about to cry or diva out of Glee. His nose almost touching Rachel's, Finn held Rachel's face closer.

"Rachel…" he said, his voice weighted down by his despair—his desperation. He held her face so hard she couldn't move her head at all.

Finally, she spoke. "All right. Let's do it. Tomorrow night-that's Saturday, eight o'clock, at your house."


	2. Exchanging Body Heat

_A/N_: The title of this work was an idea of Shipper_Swabbie's (Jillian's). It is a lyric from the Panic! At The Disco song "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off." As well, each chapter title is also from that song.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! You are making us very pleased to present you now ... The second chapter!

* * *

Rachel was pacing the bedroom in her underwear and pink fluffy slippers, fighting off an anxiety attack. She and Finn were going to have sex- tonight.

Oh, _Lord_.

As happy was she was that Finn was honest with her about Santana, there was no way she could have anticipated all the insecurities that this information dragged to the surface.

She was so nervous, she found herself biting at her nails. Stopping in her tracks in front of her full-length mirror, she brought them close to her face and examined the damage done. Rachel was shocked to realize how short and jagged they were.

Nothing like Santana's perfectly manicured talons. _Shouldn't I have long, sexy nails? Guys think that's hot, right? When girls scratch their boyfriend's backs during sex? _

Rachel wondered if she had time for a manicure.

She looked at herself for a moment in the mirror. She was wearing white cotton boy-cut panties and a matching bra. She looked about as sexy as a gender neutral baby-doll, and the knees socks and fluffy slippers didn't help either.

If she wanted to look half as hot as Santana must have, Rachel needed some lingerie. What she had for Jesse had been burned and salted after what he did to her, and every other undergarment she owned either had stars, hearts or tiny pink bows on them.

She sighed deeply and folded her arms over her chest. Biting her lips, she turned to face the mirror head on.

She noticed how her knees turned in, and her hips were narrow. She noticed how her hair always got frizzy when she made-out with Finn and she noticed how her belly and arms were not toned and wobbled slightly.

She slammed her closet door closed, where her mirror hung and squeezed her eyes shut to fight off the tears that threatened to fall.

She needed a distraction. She pulled on her favourite tights and new wool jumper and stormed out of her room with that Rachel Berry determination.

She was going to get something attractive to wear.

And she was going to get a manicure...

* * *

Rachel threw the fiftieth lacy bra onto the dressing room floor with the kind of enthusiasm best described as "a woman scorned".

Wasn't lingerie supposed to be a girl's best friend? All it had done for Rachel today is make her want a mastectomy. Nothing she tried on fit her; she ended up with either a uni-boob or a chin rest, and Rachel believed neither one of those things to be particularly sexy.

How on earth was she going to make this work? After everything? After Santana had been with him first. How could she compete with that? Rachel never thought in her entire life time that she would have the same taste in men as Santana "The Mattress" Lopez.

And actually, why on Earth didn't Finn tell her about that sooner? They were literally seconds away from having sex! Would he have waited until after to tell her? Like it was some perverse insurance policy before he told her the truth?

Oh, god. It was _Finn_! He would never use Rachel like that.

But isn't that exactly what he had done to Santana? They had sex and then they were done. Maybe Santana was right after all. Maybe all boys- even the _good_ ones- are only ever really after one thing.

Was Rachel truly ready to risk that again? After all that had happened with Jesse? She rubbed her hot, flushed face, willing the tears to spring back into the ducts. She knew she was being crazy. Finn wasn't even with her at the time. She shot him down, and he was free to see whomever he wished.

But this was sex. It had always been something that meant so much to her. How long would Finn have been willing to wait?

A knock on the dressing room door vehemently flung Rachel out of her thoughts most. Her nerves fostered a moment of terror before she regained her senses and realized what had happened.

"You need help with anything, hun?" A saleswomen drawled innocently enough.

Miffed by the interruption and conceding to her nerves, Rachel fumed, "No, t_hank you,_" popping her head out from behind the curtain, "I assure you I'm perfectly capable of asking for assistance if I need it, and judging by the commotion I'm hearing from the next stall over, you'd really be of more assistance to Mrs. Harrison. Good day."

She turned on her heel and swung the curtain shut in one swift movement. As she examined the inordinate piles of lace and satin, the reality of what she had just said to an obliging sales associate all came rushing back to her, and was struck with an uncomfortable pang of guilt. What was wrong with her? She just chewed out a sweet women at the local department store for offering assistance. Rachel turned away from the bras and collapsed into the dressing room's bench completely deflated.

Sex was scary. It made her act crazy, cranky and overwhelmed all at the same time. She wasn't used to this. She wasn't herself, she was already starting to see a change in her behaviour, and they hadn't even done anything yet!

She ached for Finn so much she just wanted to cry, but all she could think of was the million different ways it could all go wrong. How easy it would be to lose him and how much it would hurt to lose him after sharing something so special.

But it's not like she had time to change her mind. She told Finn it would happen tonight. He had made plans, they had co-ordinated their overnight excuses for her dads.

It was going to happen...

And Rachel still hadn't gotten that manicure.

* * *

Groaning, Finn shuffled through the narrow little kitchen. He went to the cabinet and reached into it absent-mindedly, pulling a box of granola healthy cereal with a grinning woman pulling the waist of her jeans as far away from her waist as possible. Yech. That was mom's cereal. He put it back and really paid attention this time, grabbing his box of Fruit Loops.

Then he opened the refrigerator door, and the refrigerator door squeaked with audible words:

"Morning, sweetie."

Finn started as he felt his mom's hand on his shoulder, still freshly manicured from the wedding the night before—with white curly-cues and red flowers. Finn made a sound and half-smiled at his mom. He gently kicked the refrigerator door shut.

"Don't forget to pack while I'm away, honey. If you have time, could you dust? I know you're busy with football games and Glee, but if you happen to have time , I know Rachel would be impressed! No? No, I didn't really think that would work. I know you hate so much talking in the morning, but I have just a few more things to say. Finn-honey, try to be mindful of the boxes all over the floor. I'm sorry to leave the house such a wreck for you, but it's only for four days. Also, I'm leaving a list of emergency phone numbers on the refrigerator. It wouldn't hurt to program them into your phone—especially our hotel phone number. Of course, Rachel probably will. I gave her my set of keys to the house in case she felt like helping. I knew you wouldn't mind. Just, you know… Be safe. I'm sure you're already on top of that, after last year. I just have to say it."

At his mom's caution, Finn cringed and groaned, "_Mom_…"

"As your mother, I have to say it!"

As Finn settled down into the kitchen chair that was too small for him, his mother puttered around the table a bit more, putting the milk away, then sweeping crumbs away. Then she began to leave, and Finn stopped her.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"This is a good change, right?"

"Of course, Finn-honey. It's the best change to date!"

"It's just … What if Burt and I get on one anothers' nerves too much."

"Burt thinks you're great, honey."

"Will he like Rachel? I mean, once he starts seeing her more?"

"He'll get used to her… Oh, I'm just kidding! Of course, he'll like her!"

"I'm just… nervous, you know? I'm afraid I'm gonna step on everybody's toes. We're all gonna change when we live together."

"A little, maybe," Carole agreed.

"Do you think you're gonna last, you and Burt?"

"I have absolute faith."

"Is it love or just avoiding being alone?"

"Probably both, sweetie. I know that I feel very happy when I see him and when he puts his arm around me. If he's down, he says I can cheer him up. You know, he makes me feel good."

"That kinda sounds like me and Rachel," Finn said, more to himself than to his mother. He chewed his Fruit Loops, swallowed.

"Yeah? Is that good?"

"It's pretty awesome. I'd do anything for her, and I know she'd do anything for me. If you guys feel half for each other what I feel for her, it'll last forever," Finn processed the thoughts as he spoke, slowly nodding. He had never really thought that out before, but it was totally true. Maybe he should tell Rachel. In some note, or some other ways that girls think is romantic.

Carole smiled. "Good to know we have the Young Lovers' Seal of Approval," she joked as she kissed his forehead.

"I was being totally serious, Mom," Finn said, his voiced tinged by a defensive tone.

"I know, honey," Carole sang as she left the kitchen.

Finn blinked and chewed, blinked and chewed, as he thought about the wedding, about Rachel. Why wouldn't he and Rachel last forever? Why did his mom have to be so damn annoying about it?

He hated that it worried him that his mom didn't believe him that the high school sweet hearts would go the distance. Yet he brooded on.

It probably didn't help that he only slept about three hours the night before. After the heated night with Rachel, he couldn't get his head to stop spinning. When he finally fell asleep at 2am, he woke up in a cold sweat—and wet pants at 6:30. His chances of sleeping after that were shot; all he could see was miles and miles of Rachel's olive, shapely legs that had been wrapped around him last night. His hands tingled as he remembered his how they had clutched her warm thigh.

They were so close! It left his mouth dry and the entire bottom half of his body practically paralyzed. It hurt; it always hurt a little bit—how much he wanted Rachel—but he always shut it up, telling himself, "Maybe next time…" Now, it _was_ next time, and he was tired and annoyed, and he had no time to sleep except maybe an hour before she got there.  
"Finn-honey, you have an hour to get ready before you take Burt and me to the airport. And remember to park far away from the stadium when you go to football practice afterwards. After hearing what they did to John Dayton's car, I don't wanna take the risk. I hope you slept well! Such a day you have ahead of you, sweetie!"

She had no idea.

* * *

As she entered Finn's room at eight o'clock sharp, Rachel was so wide-eyed nervous her eyes got watery from forgetting to blink. Finn was the first to speak:

"Hi."

Rachel's heart raced when he gripped her face with both hands. His hold was so tight, she couldn't move. And she certainly couldn't hear anything. He was so intense. It frightened her, a little.

Out of a nervous jolt, she reached out her shaking hand and poked his nose, making a "boop!" sound. He smiled a little, but it didn't distract him from the rough grip.

"I love you, Rachel," he said gruffly. Rachel began to reply to try and break the tense air she felt in the room, but kissed her. He practically kissed her senseless. When he finished, he put his hands around her waist and rubbed her lower back. Before she knew it, he had pulled off her shirt and was kissing her neck.

Rachel's cheeks blazed. His eyes so close to her nearly-bare chest… She gasped as Finn un-clipped Rachel's new lacey bra, which he paid zero regard to other than another thing separating him from Rachel. But her heart dropped as discarded with perfect indifference. She was hoping she had at least a few minutes to build confidence in that perfect-fitting, lacey bra that she had spent hours trying to find. Now, she was without that protection. She was bare and everything was suddenly so _real._

He crushed her to him in upward-scooping kisses. The kisses gave her whiplash.

They didn't last long. He picked her up, the way they had been the night before in the kitchen, and he put her on the bed. She watched despairingly as her little breasts hardly moved in response to the change in position.

As they kissed, Finn was kneading his hands up her chest from unbuttoning her skirt, moaning as his hands got close to her breasts. Rachel winced at his cold hands as she thought of Finn shifting her fat in his hands as if he were molding Play Dough.

The pressure of his hands was so strong. He had her so plastered to his bed she couldn't shift to a more comfortable position or remove the pillow from under her. He pressed his whole body against her. She could feel he was ready.

She felt dizzy as he kissed her with such force. She felt like her upper body was being lifted off the bed by his lips. When she was back down on the bed, she reached out to wrap her arms around his neck. As she raised her head to reach her arms around him, he bit and tugged her bottom lip, then opened his eyes. His eyes looked dark and determined—and frantic.

God, this was all so fast….

She tried to return his voracious kisses by nibbling on his lip, too, but he switched gears and changed to more open-mouthed kisses. Her lips quivered as they met his steamy breath. Then he rose his head, stared wordlessly as she panted, and kissed her eyes shut and tipped her chin up with one finger.

When Finn had stopped kissing her eyes, she could open them again, and she could hardly see straight. He was moving so fast—all over her.

"Finn…" Rachel said, cautiously—and he automatically responded with a kiss, plowing his insatiate, searching tongue into her mouth.

To the left of her, the bed was sinking under practically all of Finn's weight as he used it to support his upper-body to raise his lower body to take his pants off. Unlike last night, he discarded the pants effortlessly. It gave Rachel's heart a kick start.

Finn then sightlessly looked at her, looked down, and put his hand up her skirt. He firmly planted his hands on her butt, pulling her panties off. Then he raised her body, pressing it against his own. Rachel planted her feet onto the bed, eagerly bringing her legs together. This made it easier for Finn to get the panties all the way off.

So fast …

How long had it been? Four, five minutes?

She felt a cold sweat break onto her forehead as she felt him pull off her skirt.

He fumbled for the condom which was on his night stand. Rachel let out a breath, relieved to have his insatiate eyes off of her This would give her a few moments to calm down and prepare herself. Then she was stunned as she watched Finn roll the condon over himself with a single, practised motion.

Wasting no time, Finn placed himself above her, staring just below her face, his expression, calculating. Tight-lipped, Rachel froze as he stared. She was holding her mouth so tightly shut, her jaw began to hurt.

Before she thought to help him find the entrance, he was there. He looked to her face briefly, bent down, then kissed her mouth deeply. As he pushed in, he was slack-jawed, hardly kissing her back, and he emitted a warm-breathed moan.

Rachel knew it was supposed to hurt, but she gasped as the pain rent through her whole body. She felt practically pinned down to the bed. She breathed in his hot breath and felt stifled. She couldn't move. She had to be free.

She threw herself to the left edge of his bed and curled up into a ball. She saw him wince violently before she withdrew and curled into herself.

"I'm sorry!" she said, as she fought the tears that stung in rivets in her eyes.

"It's fine, babe. Fine," Finn panted, turning his body to take her into his arms. The threat of tears disappeared as she heard his soothing voice. He wasn't angry, at least.

But then she turned and looked up, and her anxious face was met with Finn's own eager and overbearing expression. He was looking at her with anticipation … Still! After all that! After that pain and the embarrassment.

Oh, no.

"It's gonna be fine from now on. I'm nervous, too," he said as he fervently kissed her forehead. It was a loud kiss—like the more sound he made, the better he could drown out her whimpering—which she just now realized she was doing. As if the kiss's firmness could still her shaking.

"Finn, I can't."

Finn's face sank, his lower lip drooping. Then he quickly licked his lips, his eyes searching her face. His hold on her tightened.

"Rachel, it's gonna be fine."

His right hand let go of her shoulder, and he traced his thumb along her jaw line—and his other hand slid up from her shoulder to the back of her head, groping through the hair for a holding place. He was moving on top of her, trying to pull her into a kiss.

"Finn!" she cried. She tasted a tear that dripped into the corner of her mouth.

"I don't get it, Rachel. You did it with Jess. We've been together way longer than you were with Jesse."

"It's different, okay?" Rachel snapped defensively, rolling away. Then she collected her bare limbs together and propped her forehead on her knees, frowning at the rolls of fat on her stomach.

"Rachel, I'm not gonna ditch you like Jesse," Finn sighed, and she knew he was staring a hole into her neck-she just felt it. "Rachel, please … Look at me."

"No!" she practically yelled. She started at her own voice and lowered it: "You're going to try and make me feel guilty."

"Yeah, it's always the pig of a boyfriend's fault, isn't it? What about you? Rachel … You drive me crazy. Your short skirts, the way you lick your lips—the way you lick _me_. So slowly. The way you wrap your legs around me—and you grabbed my junk, Rachel! It's really hard to keep control, and I don't get why we have to."

She didn't look up, just kept glaring at the olive fat rolls. He must have been amused by those. And for what? Pain? Is that what she exposed herself for?

"I didn't sleep with Jesse, okay? I lied because I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to hurt the way I did when I saw you with Santana and Brittany."

"Why would you do that, Rachel? You know that killed me? To hear you put out for this kid—then even more when you supposedly had never been happier with me, yet Jesse got more?"

"Is that what this is about? What you get?"

"Don't go and make me out to be the bad guy, Rachel!" Finn shouted, then he continued in an intense low voice, "_You're_ the one who lied to hurt me! Iwas trying to _protect_ you. I thought I was doing what was right."

"There you go again! Trying to make me feel guilty!" Rachel shouted back. She was beginning to choke up—to shiver. She felt so exposed . She had always felt safe with Finn, but now…

"God! You're worse than Quinn was, just _stringing _me along like a dope for you. And Santana—at least _she_ follows up instead of being a total tease."

"You think I'm … worse than Santana?" Rachel asked in a voice just barely above a whisper.

"I didn't say that. I meant—just that- … I'm hurting over you, and I don't know what to do!"

"I'm a tease? I hurt you? Torture you? Maybe I should leave."

Finn bowed his head, said nothing.

That was the final blow for Rachel.

"I'll take that as a yes," she whispered.

She felt the air knocked out of her as she launched herself off of Finn's bed. She shakily bent down to pick up her t-shirt and skirt—tried to escape as soon as she could. She was surprised at her dry eyes.

It wasn't until she was out of Finn's room that she realized she had been holding her breath. She took a breath and immediately started sobbing so hard she was choking. She clutched her clothes to her flaming chest. She shook all over. Her nostrils were invaded by the smell of sweat and iron.

Iron?

It was then that she noticed the blood.

* * *

Finn grunted as he eased himself out of the bed. He tried not to think—tried not to hear Rachel's sobbing just outside his door—growing fainter. He realized he gasped every time he moved—out of both physical and emotional pain—so, he stopped. Then he stood there at the side of his bed, naked, for at least ten minutes until he heard the car door slam, and he knew Rachel's dad had taken her home.

Then the thoughts all poured in at once.

First of all, what the hell just happened? Rachel told him she was ready! She picked the place and the time, and he took charge just like Sam said. Didn't girls like it when guys showed that they wanted her? Was she really so upset, or was she being dramatic and defensive? What did her hurt pride compare to _his_ throbbing groin?—which hurt like hell, he might add. It was stupid to bring up Quinn and Santana, yeah, but he wasn't with _them_; he was with her. Hadn't he just shown her tonight how much he wanted her and only her?

Why did girls have to be so goddamn confusing?

He gnashed his teeth as he walked to the bathroom, drowning out the sound of his endless questions. Restless, biting anger seeped into every one of his gooseflesh pores. He took a stomping detour into the narrow kitchen. He kicked down both the chairs and gripped the table with both hands. He clutched the little table so hard his hands were entirely white—as white as the fake marble top of the table and his freckles disappeared. Letting out a puff of hot air, he bowed his head, his teeth still grinding away.

Then he started. Was that … blood on his thigh?

"Oh, my god," Finn gasped. Had he hurt Rachel?

* * *

The ride home from the Hudson household, holding the last Hudson, had been an awkward one to say the least.

Her daddy didn't seem to notice the silent tears that ran down her face the entire time... Or he pretended not to notice. Rachel wasn't sure how prepared he was deal with a sobbing teenage girl with boy issues.

When they arrived at her house, Rachel had entered first feeling a new onslought of tears threatening to explode out of her aching heart. Her chest physically hurt from holding it all in. She wasn't sure how much longer to could take it. Her daddy stood behind her for a moment and kissed the back of her head and gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asked, almost as an after thought.

Nope, neither one of them was ready to have his conversation.

"I'm just really tired, Daddy. I'm going to bed." She half whimpered refusing to face him, "Goodnight." She sobbed, before running to her bedroom collapsing on to her bed in heaving sobs and gasping breath.

About 15 minutes had passed and her sobs had subsided to a consistent trembling as she struggled to control her breathing. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't she just relax? Why couldn't she just be relaxed and sexy like every other girl in the world? She was so embarrassed and hurt. And she was spent, physically and emotionally.

Rachel felt as though nothing she could do would live up to the standards Quinn and Santana had established. She would never be as attractive as them, so what was he trying to get at, comparing her to them? Wasn't she enough for him? Did he think she was full of herself, holding off from sex when two more beautiful, popular girls didn't even hold off as long? She was not _that _worth the wait …

No, Finn couldn't have been implying that. And yet, he seemed so different tonight. She could never look at him the same. He had moved so fast. He had practically pinned her down and muffled her every time she wanted to speak.

She was so confused. Maybe she and Finn weren't a good match, after all…

God, she hated herself for even thinking that! But he was clearly unhappy and had been hiding his true feelings. And those true feeling stung her heart.

She curled into a ball underneath her sheets and tried to muffle her sobs into her pillow.


	3. Will You Dance to This Beat?

A/N: And _finally!_ Chapter Three is up! Expect a Chapter Four and an Epilogue to pop up very, very soon... Like, within a week. So, stay tuned for Jilly's (shipper-swabbie) and my little soap!

* * *

Rachel stumbled into Glee late. It was not that Rachel Berry had lost track of time or that she didn't care about promptness. In theater, promptness was incredibly important, so she always made a point to be early to class. Today was especially important because it was the first day of rehearsal for the set list of Sectionals that weekend. They had a lot of work to do, and she (with Finn) was to lead the group in their big opening number.

But this was different. She couldn't face Finn. She didn't want to sit down before Mr. Schue started talking. She couldn't talk to Finn if he approached her. She couldn't feel Finn's glares on the back of her neck. How she was going to sing that duet with him for Sectionals, she had no idea.

She realized this was an incredibly stupid idea as soon as she stepped into the classroom. Everyone stared at her as she made her way to the chairs stacked against the wall and placed her chair next to Sam, the friendliest candidate to sit next to. Thankfully, he seemed okay with it, but Quinn shot her quite the look.

"Thanks for joining us, Rachel," Mr. Schue said as he tactlessly stared between Finn, who was on the other side of the room next to an empty chair, to her.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Mr. Schue began talking. He wrote the list of songs as they were going to rehearse them on the whiteboard. Then he gave directions about what to remember the next time they went through the songs—when to breathe, what vowels needed to be more open—otherwise known as all things Rachel had written notes on vigorously the _first _time Mr. Schuester brought them up and never had the problems again. It was as if the whole Glee club had amnesia sometimes!

She began to feel a little better as the club pushed the chairs back, clearing the space for going through "Time of My Life," the group number she and Finn led with a duet. She was beginning to think she could get through this. It was professionalism—on with the show!—after all, and she was nothing if not a professional performer.

The group stood in an evenly-spaced mass between her and Finn, making it so Rachel couldn't see Finn—that is, if she were trying to see him. They began singing, and the "Ahs" reminded her of "Don't Stop Believin'," and she heard Finn's voice, and she knew he was stepping downstage. It was her turn to move.

She stared at her feet as she made each step. For no particular reason, she was mindful not to step on the crevices between the tiles. She counted beats. Almost time for her to sing—almost time for her to look up at him. Her eyebrows went up first, leading the way. She saw his hand, reached out to her according to the choreography.

Then she looked up. She met eyes with him, and she started shaking. He didn't look angry. He looked like he was _pleading _her. In fact, he looked a little hurt. This only made it worse for her. She wasn't expecting this; she had prepared herself for bitterness and anger-even indifference, but this hurt and imploring version of Finn was not what she had expected.

She felt the barriers tromping down. She was light-headed as she sang. His eyes bore into her, drawing out every breath she tried to take. And every breath he drew out, he made her eyes sting with unshed tears. She was losing control. She was so prepared to resist him!

Soon, she just stopped singing, took a quick step back, eyes still glued—petrified—to Finn's until she stumbled on her chair. She almost plopped down on her rear, but she pulled her eyes away to find a place to grab. Then she marched out of the room, muttering "I'm sorry" to … whoever could hear her.

She didn't go back that day.

* * *

After a tearful, wakeful night, Rachel Berry wandered into the halls of McKinley High the next morning in a state of zombie-hood and moderate despair.

She hadn't slept well the night before. After seeing Finn's face at Glee rehearsal, she knew Finn wasn't mad at her, that he'd take her into his arms if she'd ask. He'd save her from her loneliness, and their days would pass as they did before. They could write notes to one another in a notebook before class started. He would rub her back when she was nervous. He would rest his warm hand on her lower thigh—occasionally brushing his thumb briskly across her thigh, laughing as it made her jump.

In short, he would be there. But, after that night, she didn't know if he should be there—for her sake as well as for his.

Every class with Finn was an agony of conflicting emotions and dodging stares. She knew that the worst was yet to come; they had Glee this afternoon and Rachel didn't think she could take anymore of it. She felt like a completely different person around him, and not in a good way. She didn't know what to say or how to act, and every time he and Santana so much as _blinked_ at each other, Rachel's skin crawled unconsciously.

It was 6th period in Mr. Steinmetz's bio class; Rachel met her breaking point. Mr. Steinmetz had called Santana and Finn up to the board to illustrate the steps of binary fission.

Rachel felt her face flush with anger as Finn watched Santana ever so diligently as she drew the simple diagram. He waited patiently for his turn, and Rachel couldn't help but notice how Santana's hand lingered on Finn's as she handed him the dry-erase marker.

Clenching her jaw, she did her best to fight the hurt and confused feelings that welled up in her chest. Why did he always just stand there when Santana did these things-these brushes of contact, the looks? Even when he and Rachel were solid, Finn wouldn't just tell Rachel to back off. He acted uncomfortable, but Rachel was beginning to wonder if he didn't just enjoy it …

Why were easy girls so attractive? Girls with no self-respect got all the respect while "prudes" like Rachel got the shaft!

No. No, no, no, Rachel would not let them hurt her again. She put her defenses up and struggled to focus on her work.

"Thank you, Finn and Santana," The teacher added when Finn finished his part of the diagram, "Can anyone tell me what kind of cell division binary fission is?"

Rachel's hand shot up immediately.

"Yes, Miss Berry?" Mr. Steinmetz droned, failing to match his student's enthusiasm.

"Asexual reproduction!" Rachel exclaimed proudly.

"Yup," Santana hissed with and air of arrogance and a malicious smirk,_ "_You _are _the expert, Susan Boyle."

That was the last straw. Rachel stood up from her desk, tears blurring her vision. She stared at Finn expectantly- waiting- but he said nothing. That's what hurt the most, the fact that he just stood there. _Again_.

She was the object of ridicule, and he was just a by-stander. Some useless statue to perpetuate her ignominy. She was done with it.

Rachel scowled wickedly at the two of them. At least she _tried _to scowl. It was hard when all she wanted to do was cry.

Mr. Steinmetz struggled to regain control of his giggling students and scold Santana at the same time, so he was oblivious when Rachel tired to excuse herself to the ladies room. It really just came out a whimper, anyway. Trying to race her tears out of the classroom, she spun on her heel and fled in Classic Rachel Berry fashion.

* * *

Being in science with Rachel was _hard_. All Finn wanted to do was to lean over and ask her advice. He wanted to work through all the complicated mitos-a-stuff with her and hear what she had to say.

She never said it out loud, but Finn knew Rachel loved biology. He never could figure out why.

She was always so interested and animated when she explained that stuff to him. Her eyes lit up and she smiled so much, and she didn't mind going over it with him again and again until he understood. He just _knew _she loved it.

That's why it was hard. He wanted to share that with her again, but he didn't even know if he was allowed to anymore.

"Finn? Santana?" Mr. Steinmetz muttered, pulling Finn out of his thoughts, "Can you please come up to the board and draw figure 2.9 for your classmates? It was assigned for homework last week, so it should be no problem for you."

Finn groaned and dragged himself to the front of the room. He _hated_ going up to the board. And what was worse? He had to do it with _Santana. _

After everything that had happened that week, Finn knew it must bother Rachel to see him with Santana. It bothered Finn, too. He didn't want to see that kind of hurt on Rachel's face. He was done hurting her. He just wanted to be with her again.

He reached for the red dry-erase marker. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice that Santana was doing the same until her cold, thin digits came in contact with his own.

She was so different from Rachel. Rachel's hands were always soft and warm. When he touched them, he never wanted to let go.

_God,_ he missed her.

He tried to keep his mind off it. Binary fission, eh? Is that the one that happened during DNA production or something? Finn hadn't the slightest clue. It had been almost two weeks since he and Rachel studied together. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone; she was the sole reason for Finn's modest C+ in bio... He was lost without her. He watched Santana carefully to try and clue in.

Thankfully, Finn figured it out by the time Santana had finished her diagram. He all but flinched when her cold skin came in contact with his own again and it stayed there just a second longer than it needed to. He didn't like that.

Finn felt the tips of his ears burn. The whole class had probably just seen it. Including Rachel.

He _hated _going up to the board.

He finished his part of the diagram and stood at the side of the whiteboard awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. His ears were on fire now, he knew the blush was seconds away from creeping over his cheeks. Everyone would notice that. He would probably look like a giant tomato growing on a stalk that was just a little too high.

Crap, what was Mr. Steinmetz saying again?

"Can anyone tell me what kind of cell division binary fission is?"

Rachel's hand shot up immediately. Finn smiled in spite himself. Of _course, _she knew the answer. She was Rachel Berry, after all. She knew all the answers. He loved that about her.

"Yes, Miss Berry?"

"Asexual reproduction!"

God, she was so adorable. How could he have screwed this up so badly?

"Yup," Santana bitched in reply to Rachel's cuteperfectcorrect answer, "You _are_ the expert, Susan Boyle."

It's not like Finn meant to ignore it. As he heard Santana dig at Rachel for the millionth time, he did feel a quiet rage bubble up low in his belly, but when the whole class erupted into laughter as Finn stood in front of them, he suddenly felt very raw.

The rage in his belly morphed into something else as he felt his entire face ignite in chagrin. He just froze.

He was a coward.

The door slamming against the door-frame was enough to knock Finn back to his senses. Once he had realized everything that had happened, all he could do was glare daggers at the Latina. After the class had calmed down a bit, he finally sputtered, "What the hell is the matter with you? Can't you tell she's hurting?"

Santana scoffed in response, held her hand out dismissively and returned to her seat complacently.

As if on cue, the end-of-class bell rang, Finn slammed his dry erase marker onto the metal shelf under the whiteboard and made for the door immediately. Kurt shot up from his desk in the back row and bee-lined directly into Finn's flight path.

He held his hand up to discourage his step-brother's chase.

"Let me handle this one, Finn. I'll call for reinforcements; you just worry about that assembly in half an hour." Kurt said with a knowing wink.

Finn had to think about it for a moment, but when he realized what Kurt was getting at, he allowed himself an optimistic smirk.

He told her once that he doesn't give up that easily. He'll be dammed before he goes back on a promise he made to Rachel Berry.

* * *

The end-of-class bell ricocheted eerily off the bathroom walls

Rachel allowed herself a solid six and a half minute cry before she succumbed to hiccups and sighs.

Being alone was just something she would have to readjust to. She was doing just _fine _on her own for 15 and a half years. She could do it again.

But she was just so tired of it all. She slumped down the bathroom stall wall and hugged her knees to her chest.

She hated feeling like this; deflated, defeated. She always knew it was lonely at the top, but this was getting _ridiculous. _Rachel sniffled stubbornly and allowed herself some time to sulk. She earned it after all. Besides those 5 precious months with that boy, this year had generally been a disaster. All her failures must finally have caught up to her, and it was _really _getting her down.

Rachel Berry's wallowing was interrupted by what sounded like a herd of shuffling feet and unintelligible murmurs, until finally:

"Hey, Berry! We know you're in here! I have it on good authority that this is your favourite place to pout." Santana announced, louder than necessary.

"Rachel, you _have_ to get out of the bathroom," A softer voice cooed. Tina was here, too? "Sectionals is this weekend!"

"Yeah, now is not the time to be such a drama queen," Mercedes added with obvious annoyance.

"Easy there, Latifa, that implies that there _is _an appropriate time for her to be a snotty diva. Don't encourage her; it's _never _the right time for her dramatics. She probably just stained her knee-highs or something..."

"Santana. You're. Not. Helping," Quinn muttered though what sounded like clenched teeth.

"Fine, O Ridiculous One," Santana conceded sarcastically, "What do we have to do to get you to come out?"

"For everyone in the club to be struck blind," Rachel answered matter-of-factly.

"What about something that we could _actually_ do to get you to Glee practice?" Quinn reprised impatiently.

"Whatever the hell it is that's wrong, you gotta get over it right-quick. If you don't ditch us now, we'll win Sectionals, and you'll probably be picked on less because Glee'll have won Sectionals two years in a row." Mercedes all but shouted, not even attempting keep her annoyance in check.

"Now, _you're _not helping, wheezums; don't lie to her and tell her she'll be picked on less."

"Shut. UP." Quinn barked. Things were starting to get tense. Rachel figured she should probably do something before the bathroom became a mosh pit of angry cheerleaders, a moping starlet and any and all of the female bracket of McKinley's Glee Club.

Rachel chimed in after a long silence, "She's right though, Quinn. You should know. As we speak, I see your newest addition to your Berry Erotica exhibition on this stall," She mumbled dejectedly, "It's very original..."

"What?"

"The one where I have a microphone as a phallus, a huge mouth and protruding eyes."

"Oh," Santana said, casually-almost sounding relieved. Slumping against the outside wall of the stall, she continued, "That was me." She paused for a moment to examine her fingernails in contemplation, "Though I gotta say; I don't think it quite captured your essence like my October piece."

"The one where I'm projectile vomiting and have chest hair?"

"That's the one." Santana announced with pride.

"The nose isn't as bad in that one... Not gigantic, at least," Rachel said very slowly, and then she sighed.

There was silence, until an untraceable, exasperated sigh filled the room, "Girl, enough! Picking on you is not _nearly _as fun when you just lie down and take it like that! Get over it, cut the pity parade and get the fuck out of there, or I will drag your ass out!"

Rachel gaped for a moment. She wasn't expecting that, especially not from _Santana. _Rachel even felt an odd sensation of flattery; Santana, of all people, seemed to show the most zeal.

Before Rachel could piece together a sensible response, a new voice interrupted them: "Ladies, we have a surprise: mandatory assembly in the gym. No Glee rehearsal today, so hop to!"

"What for?" Tina asked.

"To celebrate the winning streak of the boys in football."

"The Cheerios have won every competition for years, and we've never had an assembly!" Quinn snarled.

"Cool it, tubbers, 'cause I _really_ don't wanna hear another bra-burning speech about the Idolatry of America towards football."

Suddenly there was a whole lot of rustling, snippets of conversation then the door bathroom door opened and closed, then silence. It seemed as if she was left all alone.

_Again._

"Kurt!" No response. "Kurt?"

"Yes, Rachel."

She paused for a moment. She was sure Kurt would have left her like everyone else did. Rachel knew how frustrating some of her behaviour could be, so she would have completely understood if he _had _left. It didn't make it hurt any less, though.

She asked him timidly; as if anything she said would shoo him away, "Um, if it's for the football team, does this mean Finn won't be sitting with the Glee club?"

"No, he'll be on the gym floor with the rest of the team... Rachel Barbara Berry, are you _seriously_ sitting on the bathroom floor? Do you have any idea how many germs are down there? Or how many STDs you could catch with those short skirts you wear?"

It honestly never occurred to her.

Rachel shot up, opened the door, and she saw Kurt standing there, relaxed and confident... In the girl's bathroom.

"Come on. I've been informed that you'll be sitting with me."

"By whom...?"

Kurt caught his breath, hesitated: "Uh, Mr. Schue. He's the one who told me to come get you guys and last one out of the bathroom has to sit with me. For logistical reasons..."

Rachel quirked an eyebrow. This was... odd. Kurt grabbed her arm with a gentle insistence and threaded it through his own.

"Kurt, can I ask you something?"

"But, of course!" He replied, holding the bathroom door open for her with exaggerated gestures.

"Why would the girls come get me? I thought they all _hated _me."

Kurt sighed heavily in an indistinguishable manner, "Rachel, we don't hate you. It's just sometimes we all need a little refresher on what it means to be a team."

...

_"What do you want, Daisy?"_

_"First of all, never call me that again," Kurt said to Santana as they flounced though the hallway immediately after bio, "And second of all, lay off Berry a little, all right?"_

_"Oh really? Now, why on Earth would I want to do something insane like that?"_

_"Because you love to win, am I right?" He stepped ahead of her and placed both his hands on shoulder and met her stink-eye head on, "Do you really think that we have a shot at winning if one of our co-captians- not to mention our most talented vocalist- is clinically depressed?"_

_Santana just scoffed in response._

_"I know for a fact that Rachel's favourite place to mope is the bathrooms my the gym. If you want to keep this Glee club remotely in tact, go find Rachel. Bring the ladies, to water her down, get her out of her sulking."_

_"That sounds like a job for you, Lady Fabulous."_

_"I have somewhere I need to be. If you do this Santana, I will give you all of my studded belts."_

_She started to move away from him, "All my studded belts AND a 50$ gift card to Breadstix."_

_Santana stopped and turned back to Kurt, "Fine, but if she thinks that we're besties after this, I will burn that pretty little angora vest you love so much."_

_Kurt's eyes widened, and he held his hand out to Santana, gulping audibly: "Deal. Let's all just hope for the best."_

_..._

Kurt shivered involuntarily at the memory of Santana's threat, but when he noticed the small smile pulling at Rachel's lips, he knew it was worth it.

All of his _really_ expensive vests were insured anyway.

As they walked out of the bathroom together, and Rachel felt a hint of a smile play at her lips.

Kurt's arm felt warm against her own and when he offered it to her, she felt like it stood for something more. Like a tangible foundation for their budding friendship.

Maybe she wasn't as alone as she thought.


	4. Will You Hold a Lover Close?

**A/N**: And chapter 4! Not even 24 hours later! Toldja it'd be fast. This is the last chapter, so there may very well be reconciliation. Maybe.

Also, remember this story was speculated/planned out before we saw "Furt."

Enjoy! And don't forget to give my co-author Jill (pen name: shipper-swabbie) some love! Couldn't have done this without her. 3

* * *

When Rachel arrived to the 7th period assembly before the pep rally had begun. Kurt led her to sit right in front of all the bustle, at the bottom of the bleachers. Everyone was laughing a giggling and gossiping. The students were excited to have a class off. Some students stood on the bleachers; others tromped up and down the stairs to travel group to group. Everyone was indeed peppy at the football team's last-minute pep rally—but Rachel just felt small and awkward.

She sighed heavily, not missing the irony. She _certainly _wasn't feeling very peppy.

She felt a shoulder nudge and turned to see Kurt imitate her sigh. Why was he still paying attention to her? Did Mr. Schuester assign Kurt to her in case she did something … drastic?

But then his face softened. He didn't smile, but at that moment, she began to fantasize that perhaps Kurt, for once, was on her team.

How much did he know?

Before she could pursue the thought, the speaker system shrilled, causing all the students to groan and look down at the center of the gymnasium.

"Attention students," Sue Sylvester announced, silencing the crowd almost instantly, "We're here to celebrate our football team's most successful season in a decade. Enjoy it while you can, folks. They don't stand a chance in finals."

There was a very hesitant and uneven applause as Coach Beiste approached the microphone. She talked about how proud of 'her boys' she was and wanted to thank the school for putting together the assembly. The marching band played a few songs as the football players made their entrance, the battery drumming too loudly for the little gym as they clumsily worked through the school song, immediately followed by a bored version of "Eye of the Tiger." Then Beiste listed the names of all the players, and each boy acknowledged the applause with a nod or a smile. Then Beiste turned to Finn who gestured to be handed the microphone.

"Looks like the team's leader, quarterback Finn Hudson, wants to speak his peace," and she handed him the microphone with a blundering chuckle.

"Since this is a pep rally, I thought the audience might wanna be pepped up, too, and not just us on the football team getting our egos stroked …" Rachel started as he used her own phrase. For the first time, she actually looked at his face. He looked nervous.

"Anyway, I know you guys all know this song, so .. feel free to sing along if you want," as he said this, a member of the band starting putting a set of marching drums on him. The microphone banged around a bit as Finn awkwardly lowered the plastic holster over his head and onto his shoulder. He gripped the two drumsticks in his other hand tightly.

"Uh, thanks. Anyway. Basically, this is for my girlfriend Rachel Berry—that is, uh, if she'll take me back. What I'm trying to say with this is—you don't need to look like a Cheerio to be beautiful," Finn paused and, for the first time, he looked Rachel directly in the eyes. His expression grew serious as his eyes bore into her own. She stared back sadly until he looked away. "In fact, this goes for all you girls…. Okay, uh, I'll stop talking."

There was a rumble of baffled murmurs before a familiar chorus hushed the room. Finn drummed a steady beat on the largest of the drumheads on his set, his brow furrowed.

_Oh, God, _Rachel thought to herself, _he didn't..._

In front of the entire marching band and all the Cheerios and God and everybody, Finn sang one of Rachel's favourite songs ever.

_Her eyes, her eyes, Make the Stars look like they aren't shining..._

Was this really happening? Was he really singing _this song_ to her in front of the whole school?

_She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day..._

When the chorus came around, Rachel's vision was blurred from the unshed tears. She felt herself falling all over again. Finn was the amazing one. Had he really organized _all of this?_ The _whole marching band_ was accompanying him; some of the Glee members were singing harmony from the bleachers. This wasn't spontaneous… He had networked and planned this.

_And w__hen you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while..._

She couldn't control it anymore. A sob-chuckle bubbled from her chest, and she bit her lip to contain it.

For a moment, she forgot all the fear and hurt. His voice, the way his eyes were searching the crowd to find her made her ache for him. All she wanted to do was run to him, jump into his arms and vow never to get mad at him like that again.

But when she watched him lead the band and wave to all of Rachel's swooning peers, her defenses immediately went back up. She was supposed to be done with this. She was supposed to be learning how to be alone again. She depended too much on this boy to make her happy. It was scary.

She couldn't forget. After all, Finn—this new post-coital Finn-he wasn't what she thought. It could easily all be an act. It could be, she told herself, some grand gesture to get into her pants, once and for all—to save his pride. To prove to the school that a nobody of a girl wasn't going to resist his charms. And after all that Santana had said...

_Because, girl, you're amazing, just the way you are. _

He had finally spotted her in the crowd, and she gasped and held eye contact for a moment before it was too much and she had to turn away with a strangled sob. She felt Kurt hold her, tighten his grip.

"Just chill out, Rachel, and let him finish. You think he just did this with the snap of his fingers?"

She bit her lip and shook her head roughly. She couldn't just _forget_ all that he had done. She wouldn't. She had done it before and been disappointed.

When the song ended, Kurt took his hands off of her, and Rachel didn't hesitate to barrel through the throng of students sitting on the gym floor or standing up and stretching. She launched into a sprint when she heard a girl whoot and clap, "Yeah, Finn!" And, out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the boy in question did not hesitate, even for a second, to chase after her. But the crowd was dense around him as the girls fawned over him.

But Rachel knew that would only give her an advantage for a while. Soon, girls were forming a veritable barricade between her and the front door. She managed to push through them all until she arrived at Lauren Zises, who stopped bounding in the direction of Finn to look down at Rachel incredulously.

"What, are you stupid or something, Berry? _Finn Hudson is that way!_" Lauren Zises practically spat at her.

"Out of my way, Zises!"

She knew Finn had to be gaining on her now. She also knew this running was ridiculous. First of all, he was more than a foot taller and much stronger than she was. Secondly, she was stumbling through the crowd, yelling so people would notice her and move.

When she was free of the crowd, out of the gym, she felt a crippling desire to run and never stop. Her heart fluttered, and the adrenaline shot from her core in every direction so that she could hardly see straight. Shards of her jitters exploded into even smaller pieces and ricocheted throughout her body in every other direction. She felt dizzy; she knew she would soon be blinded by tears.

She began running so hard it hurt.

And it felt good.

* * *

"Rachel! Wait! Please!" Finn shouted down the hallway to Rachel, as he turned a second corned. Luckily, the hallways of the whole school were practically empty so Finn was able to pursue her by following the sound of her footsteps.

When he had gained on her and called out, Rachel stopped—but she didn't turn around. Finn walked until he was facing her tear-streaked face. He clenched his jaw as he saw Rachel's face grow long and unreadable. She was flushed from the running, and her beautiful, long eyelashes were clumped from being wet. He swallowed.

"Do you think you could ever love me again?" Finn whispered.

"I never stopped loving you, Finn."

"So, why are you crying?" Finn said as he reached out to wipe away a fresh tear with his thumb. She let him.

"Because I'm confused, and I'm embarrassed."

"Crap, was that too much? Are you mad that I did that in front of the whole assembly?"

"No. It was… very romantic.."

Finn began to calm, seeing that Rachel didn't appear to want to flee anywhere. His hand that was floating from her face went down to her wrist. He held it gently, rubbing his thumb across the pulse.

"Then why aren't we together again? You know I meant every word. I think you're amazing, and you don't need to change for me. You don't need to look like Santana to be beautiful. I didn't mean what I said that night. Totally the opposite actually. You're way better than Santana," he said each word with emphasis. He had thought all of this out. He wanted to show her he got her. But then she said …

"Oh, Finn … You don't understand…" Fat tear drops began to pour down her face. She tugged her wrist out of Finn's hand, and she slowly backed away, meeting his intense gaze.

"I can't … I …" She turned and walked fiercely down the hall, practically launching into a run when she opened the door to the parking lot.

Finn watched her leave in stunned silence. Then once the door slammed, something clicked in him, and he clenched his teeth. He clenched so hard, he didn't notice he had clamped down on his own cheek in his seething until he tasted blood.

As he felt a tear travel down his cheek, he thought that it may be true; maybe everyone was right about him: maybe he really was the biggest idiot in school.

What was she talking about? Why couldn't he figure it out? If the problem wasn't how he had compared her to Santana and Quinn, what was it that upset her?

What was that look on her face, just then? She looked embarrassed, probably due to his big, stupid display. No, it was more than embarrassment. Worse than anxiety. She was nervous, maybe. No, he had seen her nervous, and that wasn't it. She wasn't so tight-lipped when she was nervous. She didn't cry tears that rolled down her cheek as they simultaneously rolled over his self conscience like acid.

He was such an idiot. A big, fat goon.

She was scared. _He_ had scared her.

God, he sucked! He started tasting blood again. He wanted to kick something so bad but could find nothing in the hallway.

Of course, he scared her! He had made her bleed. He had hurt her. She didn't want him to hurt her again. She was just too small and fragile and he too big and clueless. He had always wondered if his Gigantor frame would break petite Rachel whenever they rolled on Rachel's bed during make-outs.

Well, he had finally done it. He'd broken her.

But what was different? He thought back on the last night they were together—the last night he had touched her. She had turned away, and he had turned her toward him. Fresh tears had flowed. He tried to draw her closer, and she had resisted.

Was that what had scared her? But he had said, "Please …" Could he really have turned into that jerk who pressured girls for sex?

And the night before. She had resisted, but he pursued with restless vigor, kissing her neck and ears till he felt her goose bumps and heard her voice grown weak in resisting.

Then she didn't want to look at him. "You'll just try to make me feel guilty."

It was all clear to him now. He was That Jerk, and she wasn't going to fall into his arms after he ripped off a song everyone knew on the radio. What was there left for him to do? Talk? Could that work?

He needed a plan, some way to get her alone. A way to get her to listen to his plea… He knew just the person to talk to.

* * *

As Rachel walked into the science classroom, her last class before Glee—almost the end of having to pass Finn down the hallway and pretend she somehow didn't see his towering frame pass her.

It was also her only class with Finn besides Glee. Monday and Tuesday, she had sat at the front of the class, and Finn sat near the back. She thought the front would be best to avoid Finn making her simultaneously want to run in the opposite direction _and _straight into his arms. She thought she could think more clearly if she sat in front of him.

She was wrong. So wrong.

When he wasn't called up to the board like yesterday, she could feel him staring at her. She knew for a fact he didn't pay attention in class. So, she sat there, practically sweating, wondering what he was thinking.

She couldn't let him make her squirm by being unseen. She would be the one unseen. This time, she would claim her control and sit in the back and let _Finn _wonder what she was doing behind him. She wouldn't let him have this power over her. This new, strange post-coital Finn.

She flounced to the back of the empty classroom, taking the very back row. It felt strange to sit there—she always sat at least moderately close to the front of class. She watched coolly as the class poured in just as the little hand was making its last round.

Just as the bell rang, Mr. Steinmetz, ambled into class with his regular greeting of "Hey, guys." Just as Mr. Steinmetz shut the door, Finn and Kurt skirted into the classroom. Finn paused and stared in confusion as he saw the front row empty—except for Kurt, now, who had wasted no time in slipping into a seat.

Then he saw her in the back where it was far too crowded for him to sit. With a pathetic smile to the teacher, he took a seat next to Kurt, the desk closest to the door. Right away, he took out a pencil, his notebook, then he ripped out a piece of paper and began writing—at which point, Kurt turned to give Rachel a cool wink.

Finn wrote the whole class period, not even bothering to even pretend to pay attention—and Kurt never once chided him to pay attention. Rachel saw all of this with amazement and confusion, noticing that Finn was gripping the pen so tightly that his knuckles were white. He was clearly hell-bent on his task and only paused from his writing to rub at the nape of his neck—a common habit he did when he was upset. As the class period drew near its end, Finn was rubbing his neck practically raw without pause. Finally, the bell rang, and Kurt nodded at Finn, who seemed to be smiling back, and jetted out of class. As soon as Kurt was gone, Finn's elbows slammed onto the desktop as he puffed out a sigh.

With one hand, Finn crumpled up the paper and stomped out of the class room—hurling the heavily-wrought essay—or whatever it was—into the trash. Rachel deliberately took her sweet time putting her book and notebook away so that she was last to leave. She paused at the doorway as Mr. Steinmetz stood, impatiently holding the doorknob, waiting to lock up. She quickly crouched down to the trash bin and scooped out the paper Finn threw in as Mr. Steinmetz ushered her out of the classroom.

Rachel curtly and politely said good bye to Mr. Steinmetz and retreated to the closest corner. Propping herself against the wall, Rachel began to read.

_Kurt told me I had an epiphany yesterday (I just had him spell it for me.) He told me to write you a letter about it. So, here goes …_

_I'm an idiot. I saw the blood, freaked out, then remembered that virgins bled. I figured it was kinda like PMS or something. I worried that your bleeding freaked you out because you hadn't told me you were a virgin and that blew your cover. Like you thought you weren't good enough because you weren't experienced like Santana._

_It wasn't until last night I sucked it up and read about it. I read it in our Freshman health class book. (I forgot to return it.) I remember we had that class together. I don't think you ever noticed me (too busy doing important stuff like homework and singing), but I noticed you. I would watch you sometimes because I was bored in that class. Except the day they brought in the pig lung to show how nasty a smoker's lung looked. _

_That was a cool day. I was really excited because Puck told me they exploded the lung._

_But I still watched you even that day. I remember you covered your nose with your fluffy, pink pen the whole time to block the funny smell. It was cute. You were cute. Beautiful, actually._

_God, I'm such a coward. You don't wanna hear this bull. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading._

_But please keep reading._

_I broke you. I made you bleed because I literally broke you inside. It doesn't happen to every girl, the book says. But it happened to you. And it's because I was about as good to you as a block of concrete._

_I pressured you and didn't pat attention to you like I should have. I pressured you when I should have let you be the little controllist you are—whether that meant stopping or going. _

_Know this, Rachel. I don't mind the way you wanna control some stuff. The way you always fix my collar; the way you finish my sentences; the way you won't let me kiss you until we're finished doing homework; the way you always decide what movie we're watching and never ask me what I want to watch. I even don't mind that you correct me every time I use the word controllist._

_Please be with me again. We can go back to the way we were before the wedding—no sex. I don't mind. I'll wait forever._

_Please, Rachel. I love you. I_

He had cut himself off. That must have been the moment when he wrote "YOU SUCK" to himself at the top, unlined part of the paper and underlined it jaggedly five times.

Rachel had finished reading some time ago, but she was still staring at the paper. Her eyes blurred with tears. She blinked so she could read it again. Then when she finished her second reading, she cleared her teary eyes when she smiled so broadly that she was squinting—and she read a third time.

The bell, signifying the beginning of seventh period—Glee—had rang at least twenty minutes ago, but she continued to read, cry, and smile. He understood. He finally got it. And Rachel felt like she was falling in love all over again.


	5. Sweetie, You Had Me

**A/N: **ANOTHER CHAPTER? WHAT? Yes, yes, you're seeing this right. We decided that this story needed one more chapter before the epilogue. Jilly (shipper-swabbie) wrote most of it. So, go and thank her by giving her flowery, gushing reviews, okay?

* * *

Finn sat in Glee, anxiously tapping his feet. Twenty minutes in, and Rachel_ still _wasn't at Glee rehearsal. Again. Finn was surprised that she wasn't even _trying_ like she did on Monday. It's like she had given up. The spark was gone. She had given up when she locked herself in that bathroom stall the day before.

It made Finn's stomach churn. He was so pissed at himself that he felt sick. He wanted to cry, too. Again. Like he did that morning. And like he almost did in the middle of Biology class as he butchered the art of letter-writing with his terrible note to Rachel. He had somehow deluded himself into thinking it would be good if he just "wrote what he felt," like Kurt said. So much for Kurt's advice. Maybe, instead of writing, he needed to just grab her shoulders and make her hear his rambling, desperate plea.

But then he'd be That Jerk again, overpowering her and forcing her to do something she may not be ready to do. He didn't want to do that. Not ever again.

He went to Miss Pillsbury for help during lunch that day, and it hadn't helped him much. She kept sputtering about safe sex and throwing him condoms with Darth Vader on them that said, "I will not be your father!" After 15 pointless minutes in her office, he heaved a sigh and left.

Normally, when they weren't needed during Glee practice, he and Rachel would write notes to one another. Since he didn't have that anymore, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. So, he opened his notebook. He saw that he had hastily stuffed the pamphlet Miss Pillsbury had given him into it. He hadn't even looked at it when the wide-eyed councilor handed it to him, so he decided to pull it out and read the cove. Maybe it would help.

The cover said, _So Sex Ruined Your Relationship_.

Bad idea. _Shit _idea. Why did he even think he should look at that? His gut wrenched, and he quickly put the pamphlet away. No more reading, he decided. With a dark brow and tight jaw, Finn watched Sam and Quinn practice their choreography.

Then he saw it.

Mr. Schuester had them circle each other, holding onto one another's waists with their hands at the same time. His and Rachel's move! They were going to do his and Rachel's circle! He frowned. Then he wanted to kick something. How could Mr. Schue do this to them-to him? Then he remembered-this never would have happened if it weren't for _him…_

Just then, Rachel came in, and everyone stopped what they were doing and looked—even Brad at the piano stopped playing to gape at her. Finn saw that this immediate reaction was unexpected by her as she stumbled backwards a step in her surprise at the fourteen pairs of eyes looking at her expectantly. She cleared her throat and raised her head proudly. He saw, with relief and admiration, that firecracker Rachel Berry was back. He hadn't put out the spark, after all.

"Fellow Glee-clubbers. Mr. Schue. I apologize for running out on you all Monday. I know we only had one week—in fact, less than because of yesterday's assembly—to get this show together for Sectionals this weekend. I failed you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Mr. Schuester approached her and said in a reprimanding tone: "Rachel, I hope you don't expect to get your lead back. Finn backed out the moment you ran out, and I gave the duet to our competition winners, Sam and Quinn here. They're working hard—and have worked longer and harder than you've been working, so I really don't wanna hear any complaints, Rachel."

"Okay," Rachel squeaked, and Finn looked up, startled to see that she was looking directly at him. She looked upset, but she was fighting showing it.

"Sorry?" Mr. Schuester asked, dumbfounded.

"Though I'll admit it upsets me, your decision is entirely understandable." She swallowed, and when she spoke again, her voice was stronger. "I was unprofessional, and you had every right to give my part away." She swallowed, and

"Oh, my God," Kurt gasped.

"Well, _damn_," Mercedes breathed.

"Why, Rachel! I'm impressed. You've shown some real growth. I'm glad—" Mr. Schue's speech was interrupted by Rachel, who started teetering up and down on her toes with impatience.

"That's great, Mr. Schue. But, I'm sorry; I don't really care right now. I have another, more pressing matter. Can we talk outside, Finn?"

Finn dumbly nodded, his mouth open, as shocked as everyone else.

He walked to her, and she walked to him. Then, as if they had never fought, she took him by the hand and led him to the door. He felt a warm rush of gratitude wash over him. She was willing to talk to him! Even if it meant yelling at him, at least he had the chance to explain himself!

Then she laced her fingers in his, and he nearly whooped for joy. It felt so good to hold her hand again. He wouldn't mind if, at this very moment, her small, but strong, grasp led him to the end of the world. As long as he had her. So, did this mean she was going to forgive him?

Almost as an afterthought, Rachel turned around to announce, "Don't fret, my fellow Glee-clubbers! I'll be back this time. I promise."

He heard the door shut softly behind them as they entered the abandoned hallway. She tugged him off to the side of the nearby lockers and took both of his hands into her own. Finn nearly lost his breath when she looked at him, her warm, dark, teary eyes unwavering.

It was kind of intense, but he loved every second of it. Up until now, he was beginning to wonder if she'd ever look at him that way again. He allowed himself to feel a little hopeful. He had no idea what could of brought on this change of heart, but he knew damn sure he wasn't about to complain about it.

There was a long, uneasy pause before she broke it with a shaky, "Hey."

Finn swallowed hard. There was an enormous lump in his throat and thousands of snakes wriggling around in his belly. This was it; the moment of truth, the make-it-or-brake it conversation. He had no idea what to expect from her. He was so confused and_ so scared, _so naturally he said, "Hey," cursing his nerves for making his voice shake stupidly.

Apparently that did it for Rachel, and her eyes brimmed over with tears. She bit back a giant smile and flung herself in his arms, "I'm so sorry I ignored you! I was so crazy! I wish I were brave enough to talk to you about everything. I wish I'd told you I was a virgin sooner, could have told you how I was feeling, why I was mad. But I was so confused and hurt and _so scared _of what you thought of me I just-" She sobbed into his sweater, and he just stood there trying to understand what was happening. He felt her shake as she cried and explained;

"Everything happened so fast, so I got scared, and I haven't been completely honest, Finn I've been on birth control pills since that day in the auditorium, but I never wanted to tell you, afraid of what you'd think of me and my double standards. I just know that I can hardly control myself around you, Finn. It's been that way since day one, and it's scary."

Finn's eyes practically popped out of their sockets. She'd felt it that day, too. Good to know he wasn't the only one—the _pervert_ who couldn't help but lose it every time a girl he'd known two weeks would touch him. She'd made him crazy, and now he noted, with satisfaction, that _he _made her crazy, too. He didn't need to change how he was to get her in the mood, like Sam had implied when he advised he be more dominant. She wanted him already! So much that it _scared_ her?

"I lied to save face. I thought, with time, I would feel better about it, but to be honest, I think I was lying to myself, too. I was just saying we should do it to please you—not because I was ready. And then when it happened, you were so angry with me; I thought I changed you. I thought I ruined everything-"

"Rachel, Rach! It's all right!" He almost shouted at her. He pushed her hair away from her face to try and soothe her, "I'm just glad you're finally _talking _to me!"

She sniffled and looked up at him, her face was red and blotchy from crying, but she looked more beautiful to Finn; "Just tell me one thing: I mean, don't get me wrong I'm really, really happy about this, but where is it all coming from? I was so sure you would _never _forgive me."

"Oh," She rubbed at her cheeks and chuckled softly, "I got your letter."

Finn's face erupted into flames. He stepped away from her, aghast and entirely humiliated, "But, how- I threw it... Did Kurt?" He had never been so embarrassed before in his life.

"Hey, _hey!" _She cooed at him, grabbing both his arms and pulling him flush against her, "Don't be embarrassed! I think it's important that we talk to each other from now on, okay? I shouldn't have expected you to read my mind and understand how I was feeling. I should have told you flat out that sex can be scary for girls and that I love you, but I didn't want to rush into anything, I didn't want to risk it. Didn't want to lose you..."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, why was _she_ apologizing? He was the jerk who couldn't keep it in his pants.

"Rachel just, stop. You don't need to apologize any more; I get it! I guess I just got so used to you always being five steps ahead of me that I kinda lost track of things and got carried away. I mean, it's _super _embarrassing, but I meant what I wrote in that letter, Rachel. I was an idiot. I was overachiever-"

"Over_eager."_

Finn felt his face spit into a smile. He'd be lost without her, "Right. Rach, there's nothing you could have told me that would have changed how I feel about you; you're worth the wait."

He could see her eyes fill with tears again as she popped up on her toes to kiss him. He met her halfway, and the kiss evolved from their lips puckered, feeling one another's breaths on their faces, eyes shut, to a slow, hungry open-mouthed kiss. When their lips parted, they brought their foreheads together, and he enveloped her into his arms and held her tight, afraid of letting her slip from him again. Then he pressed his lips to her for another kiss, and the world dissolved around them. Finn almost felt dizzy from the force she kissed him back until all that existed for him was their kiss. They stayed that way for a while, gently kissing and rubbing noses—until a dull thump made them both jump.

They both turned around to see Kurt, accompanied by the half of the glee club peeking out of the slightly ajar choir room door. He was glaring at the wooden doorstop on the ground. Mercedes, who was behind Kurt, giggled, "Sorry. Kicked the doorstop into the door …"

"Mercedes Jones!" Kurt huffed.

Rachel spun around and gasped. She was blushing so hard, even Finn, who stood behind, could see it reach her ears and the nape of her neck. He was embarrassed, too but Finn couldn't help but laugh, and he put his hands on her shoulders, stroking both with his thumb.'

"Shouldn't you be, ya know, practicing, bro?" Finn said, making Kurt blush, as well.

"Finn, the day we move in together, I am not coming within twenty feet of your room when she's over… Thank God she's smart enough for birth control pills. I do _not_ wanna deal with another pregnancy," Kurt said as he rolled his eyes.

Finn laughed again, louder this time, as he heard Rachel make a sound that resembled a combination of a whine and a groan. Then he felt her jab his ribcage.

He stopped laughing.

"For the love of God, Kurt, just stop, or Rachel's _never _gonna come to rehearsal again …" Tina muttered, getting red herself.

Kurt stood up fully from his eavesdropper's crouch and put his hands out defensively as he said, "Fine, fine."

And then he smiled at Rachel.

Finn wasn't sure for a moment. He thought maybe the smile was at him—or someone behind them—and he just didn't feel like looking up. But he heard Rachel giggle. Had they-? Were they…. friends, now?

Finn grinned and kissed Rachel on the head as the eavesdropping Gleesters went back to rehearsal in response to Mr. Schue yelling, "_Come on, _guys! Sectionals!"

He wrapped both his hands around Rachel's waist, and Rachel's hands clasped his own crossed-over ones. She stroked his forearms gently, then she rested her head on his chest a moment. She closed her eyes as he said, "I love you, Rachel Berry."

* * *

**FIN**


	6. Epilogue

**A/N:** HOLY CITRUS EXPLOSION, YOU GUYS! No, but, seriously ... You may explode from smut overload if you read this in one sitting ... Just sayin' ...

* * *

That Friday, Rachel planned for the two to talk about expectations in their relationship. Finn's first words were not as hard to say since the wedding: "I don't wanna wait until you've won Tonys or when we're 25 to have sex."

Rachel agreed, and Finn let out a huge sigh. He'd told her he'd wait forever—and he totally would. He'd just rather not have to. Could any boy his age blame him?

He also asked that she not wear weird underwear; he loved her boy shorts panties and polka-dotted bras—and it felt less planned, less construed than if she were wearing something she obviously bought to try and impress and seduce him—as if she needed to buy something for that!

"Besides, I'm not sure it's totally safe to mess around with those bras with the wires, anyway," and it was Rachel's turn to sigh then laugh as she placed her hand on his thigh. "Unless, I mean, you really like them. Maybe when we're older, ya know?" He put his hand on hers, and they both squeezed.

"We can do this," Rachel said with a beaming face.

"Hell, yeah, we can," Finn assured her, his crooked smile firmly in place as he stroked her hand with his thumb.

They didn't set dates for when they were going to do it—or even when they were going to get to third base. Rachel decided that was a bad idea. She just said that they both needed to do research and communicate, to not be afraid to tell the other person what they wanted.

Then, within a month after the week they fought, it got serious. They were just in their underwear, home alone, on Rachel's bed.

It all began when Rachel had found a cute patch of freckles—and a ticklish spot—near the elastic of his boxers. She learned that, if she lingered a little to the right, his giggles descended into a moan, deep and resounding.

"I'm going down on you, okay, baby?" Rachel said as she looked up to Finn, chin so close to resting on his spot of arousal.

Finn's eyes widened, and he nodded, his stilted breathing from looking at her with a craned neck picking up pace.

Rachel began to tug his boxers down and kissed his pelvic bone on the left, then the right. She felt him tremble beneath her as she pulled the boxers off of him. After a while, she learned that she got more moaning—and less gulping—out of him when she stroked him slowly with her hands with her belly and thigh as she kissed closer and closer to her destination.

And then, she arrived. She started when she saw some of what her research said was _pre-_cum peek out. She stuck out her tongue to taste it (and Finn grew even more limp on the bed). She was struck with a desire for more.

She kissed his tip, opening her mouth a little more and a little more until she could feel him _pulse_ inside of her. Somehow, it felt right to her when not a month ago, the idea of going down on Finn made her feel very uncomfortable. There was nothing attractive about the male reproductive organ, first of all; it was just utilitarian. And there was something degrading about a woman going down to a man. (_"I don't see that. I mean, if it's mutual,"_ Puck had shrugged when she had foolishly brought the subject up when they were working on her bad reputation project.,)

Now she was enjoying herself. She loved being close to it, putting it against her mouth—and inside. But how was that? How was she so changed in her opinion?

Finn's back arched, and she felt him play with her hair. He breathed her name.

Ah, that's right. Because it's _his._ She loved it because it was a part of him; heck, _it _was probably what she was dealing with during their make-outs. She commanded it. Finn's cock was her friend.

"Rachel, babe, God …" were Finn's string of protests as she continued to pucker and nibble at his tip.

She was dizzy with adrenaline and drunk on the heated desire Finn radiated and pulsed through his pores and in his breath. She could hardly see straight, she was so excited herself.

She wrapped her mouth around his diameter, and she brought it into her mouth slowly, trying to perfect the very basic motion of love-making: the up-and-down. Finn was beside himself, could hardly make an intelligible sound—except her name. ("Babe" didn't even make the cut—but _her _name did.) Were her lips not otherwise occupied, she would have grinned, so pleased at how pleased she was making Finn.

Then, it was over. She swallowed, and she was surprised by the pleasant taste it left in her mouth. She had read that it generally tasted good—unless he ate something strong beforehand—but she couldn't believe it until then. She was glad she had decided to swallow beforehand. She had basically just swallowed the essence of the boy she loved. Just the thought filled her with warmth. She wanted things too much—and one of them was Finn. She wanted all of him. She now had a bit more of him

Finn pulled her up to hug her and kiss her head. When they pulled back, she saw his him staring at her in complete adoration. In awe, really. Not a word was exchanged. They lay close to each other and gazed. They breathed deep the moment, each other.

After a few moments, Finn's lips tugged into a little smile, and he told Rachel it was his turn to go down on her now. He had tried going down on her once before, and Rachel loved the way it felt, but it just didn't make her orgasm. Afterward, she had tried lying to make him feel better, but she quickly gave up. Finn thanked her for being honest with him—though he looked a little disheartened. When he left the house, he told her he would do research and try again soon.

"I've done some reading. I think I focused too much on the inside and not enough on the outside," he said, and then he kissed her nose, her neck, her collar bone, and trailed gentle kisses all the way down. Those were Rachel's instructions last time. She loved the feel of him kissing her all over; she determined that she would be fine if she didn't orgasm—as long as he was there, worshipping her body with his kisses all over. She felt like a goddess, and that was just as good as any old orgasm…. Right?

But then it happened. Instead of putting his tongue right inside of her, he flicked it along the outskirts. He did this over and over again until Rachel gave out a little cry, surprising herself. It was as if his tongue had struck at a gong, a gong that sent palpitations all throughout her body. Rachel hoped he found that spot again.

And he did! She cried out his name this time—but then he stopped.

Why did he stop?

He began kissing at her inner thigh, which, though the first time, it felt delicious, this time it was not acceptable! He had to go back!

"Finn!" she whined, impatiently.

Then, she felt it again—only this time it felt like a lightning bolt had struck that gong. Her whole body trembled, and she felt a dizzying wave overcome her until she felt like she was floating. He started lapping at her, half his tongue at her clitoris and the other half just inside. The sound of him lapping up her wetness she didn't know she had made her writhe on her bed as she shouted, "Oh! Oh… Oh!"

"Oh, God, Rachel," she heard Finn moan, too. And they were moaning together as his hands slid up and down her thighs, squeezing her buttocks—which got a huge rise out of Rachel. She was limp now. She felt his hot breath on her folds, and she was sure she was going crazy because she felt like she was floating above her body. He scratched her a little, and she practically bellowed in ecstasy.

Then, it was over. They both panted—in sync, she noted with surprise.

Then she felt the bed sink beside her limp, wide open legs. Finn crawled along beside her and collected her body, naked, but for her bra, into his arms. They lay together, spooning, for a few minutes. It was Rachel who chose to break the silence.

"That was incredible. Did I?"

"Yup. Twice," Finn said proudly. She turned over to look up to see he was grinning down at her.

"Was it gross?"

"No way! Was _I_ gross?"

"Not possible," she said, winking. Finn laughed, and then he turned her to face him, then pulled her to his bare chest. Their sweaty noses pressed together, he stared, wide-eyed and gently brushed aside her stray, sweaty hairs.

They began to make-out, their tongues rolling into the familiar pattern—when Rachel pulled out with a gasp. With a toothy grin, she told Finn that they had basically—symbolically just had intercourse. His semen in her mouth and her lady juices in his were being brought together in the kiss.

"Told you we could do this," Finn said, laughingly, as he pinned her down to kiss her some more. Then _he_ pulled back from an eager Rachel to say, "Did you just say _lady juices_?"

* * *

Two weeks later, Finn and Rachel were home alone and in Finn's room. They were perfecting third base. Over the past two weeks, they considered themselves experts in how to please the other. Their confidence was growing. Was it time?

Finn noticed, with delight, that Rachel was wearing a white cotton bra with pink hearts and a tiny bow placed perfectly between her breasts. It was Finn's favourite. And he told her every time he got a chance to see it. (Which was often, these days!)

He was half on-top of her again, but this time he was settled in between her legs. Neither one of them had lost their pants (or in Rachel's case, tiny skirt and pink cotton panties) yet.

Rachel was pulling at the hem of Finn's shirt, right hand supporting his weight, his left one tangled in her hair.

She bit his lip, and when he gasped she took the opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth and push it against Finn's.

He moaned at the contact and unconsciously ground against her through his jeans. Rachel returned the favour and her head spun as she felt his denim-suppressed reaction push against her.

She pulled his shirt off between kisses and ran her hands down his chest, lingering at the waist band of his jeans

"Wait," She moaned, pushing away from him slightly. He bit back his exasperated groan, closed his eyes and licked his lips.

She pulled his face up so that their dark eyes met. He moved his eyes down and stared at her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. He sighed slightly and gave her that half-smile that she loved so much.

"Yeah?" He finally asked.

"I- I think I'm ready. _Really, _ready."

Finn's eyebrows shot up with disbelief, "Like, _now?_"

She paused as she bit her lower lip. She nodded her head wordlessly and smiled wildly.

Finn's face split into a grin.

But wait, "Wait, Rach, are you sure? Do you wanna take some time to think about it? Do you want to schedule in tomorrow night or a week from now, just so that you'll be prepared-" He was speaking so fast she had to interrupt him.

"No," she said as happy tears sprung to her eyes, "No, now." She added as she unbuttoned his jeans, "Finn, I _want _to do this with you. Only you."

His mouth hung open as she unzipped his zipper _painfully _slow, not breaking eye contact with him for an instant. Once she had it undone, she pushed his jeans and boxers down over his hips. She nodded to him and he ached as she pulled her hands away from him.

Then she started on the zipper of her skirt.

They pushed away from each other to finish removing their clothes-Finn watched as Rachel even unhooked her own bra- until both of them were completely naked.

It was Finn's turn to feel embarrassed as she looked at him from head to toe, grinning her approval. Finn just blushed from ears to collar bone.

"You're _beautiful." _ He told her, shuffling closer to where she sat on the bed.

"You're not too bad yourself, Finn," she added with an amazingly sexy half-smile that she must have learned from him.

"_Really_ ready?" He asked her, once more.

"Yes." She replied simply. She grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss, just for good measure. That's all Finn needed.

They heated things up again as the kisses deepened. Finn had never realized how wonderful it could feel to have her completely bare chest pressed against his own. She was right, everything happened too fast last time. She felt her breasts rise and fall with each breath—against him. He felt dizzy and drunk with anticipation. Then she began scratching his back.

God, it was only getting better.

He was too eager for sex before; he never really got a chance to savour the feel of her.

She moaned as she opened her mouth to him. He loved the taste or her; he just couldn't get enough.

He pressed closer against her still, but it was difficult, because she had both legs tucked off to the side of him. He ran is hand down her face, over her collar-bone and took her whole left breast in his hand. He squeezed and kneaded, and even ran his thumb over her nipple. She pushed herself into his hands when cool flesh brushed against her sensitive tip. She choke-gasped, her eyes snapping open.

Damn his cold hands!

Rachel's face bloomed into a smile. She took the perpetrator of the cold-frisking and blew her warm breath against it. Then she put it in her mouth and sucked slowly until the thumb was overtaken by her warmth. She released it and nodded. He put his hand back to her breast, and she squealed with delight; _he_ was practically on the moon.

Her hands moved from his face to his shoulders, and she rolled him over and pushed herself up so that she was straddling low on his belly.

"Slow, this time, OK?" Rachel breathed.

Finn nodded wordlessly and almost cried when she rolled off of him again. He was just about to reach out to her when he realized what she was doing.

She was looking for a condom in the bedside table. Finn watched with fascination as she stood unabashedly naked in front of him, moving a few things around the tiny drawer, nibbling at her bottom lip in contemplation. He almost jumped for joy as she presented the latex to him with a wide, slightly nervous smile.

Finn didn't miss the signal this time. As difficult as it was for him to say, he added, "Are you sure, babe? You're looking pretty nervous. I mean, we don't have to..."

"No, really, Finn, I'm fine, it's just- Can I do it this time?" She asked, referring to the condom.

Finn's jaw went slack again, Can she _do it _this time? _Can she do it this time? _It was probably the sexiest thing she ever said to him.

He nodded enthusiastically and watched in wonder as she gingerly ripped the paper open and placed the bundle at his tip. She rolled the rubber over this throbbing length with tiny hands, so slowly and so carefully- she was _barely _touching him. He gasped and gripped the bed-sheets like a life-line.

This girl would be the death of him.

She all but pounced on him when she finished, pushing Finn down and trailing kisses all over his face. She licked his jaw-line, and Finn nearly screamed because he was so happy. It was finally happening.

She squeaked as he rolled her over. She could feel his erection press against her hip as he fondled her chest. She could smell him all over her and it made her dizzy with lust.

She struggled to clear her head and said, "Slow," reminding him (and herself) between kisses. Finn stilled instantly at her words and it took all of his strength to pull away from her slightly. He took in some gasping breaths and looked at her inquisitively.

She bit her bottom lip and looked down to adjust herself. She pushed her hips down and moved her knees so that they were on either side of his legs. She took his length in one hand and placed the other on his hip and guided him towards her.

Finn was shaking as his tip hovered inches away from her. Rachel moved her hands back to his face and made eye contact with him once more, "Hey," she said, voice wobbling slightly "I love you, Finn."

His features softened and all that existed in the world was her, "Me, too Rachel." He said, pushing some hair away from her face, "More than you know."

She wrapped her arms around him and he pushed into her as slow as possible. She buried her face into his warm shoulder and gripped his back tightly.

The pain shot through her entire body as it did last time, and she felt the panic pry at her nerves. She took a deep breath and tried to relax herself around him, but it was hard; he filled her completely.

Finn scooped his left arm under her, taking some of her weight and stoked the back of her hair in calming motions and kissed the top of her head gently.

He felt the silky heat of her walls around him and it took all that he had not to push in further. She felt _so good_.

But Rachel surprised him, and she bucked her hips into him purposefully. His hand stilled in her hair and he looked at her in shock, "A-Are you sure?" he gaped.

Her eyes shined in unshed tears and she nodded her consent. He laid her down and pushed into a little further and felt her grip tighten on his biceps.

Rachel willed the pressure into something more, but it hurt. It hurt _a lot; _But not as much as it would hurt pushing him away. No, she was done being safe and keeping a distance. She wanted this. She wanted _Finn. All of him._

She pushed her hips into him again, and felt something ignite in her lower abdomen. Something _good _was starting, so she pushed against him a third time.

Finn could tell he was starting to lose it as everything below his belt constricted and throbbed. He was almost seconds away when he felt Rachel relax slightly. Oh no, he was almost done, and she was just starting! He stopped moving instantly.

"Wh-what? Why are you stopping?" She mumbled huskily, her hands loosening on his arms.

Finn looked at her, and shot her his half-smile. He reached his hand down to her clit and pressed and ground it against his length.

Rachel's back arched instantly and she let out a strangled gasp. Her hands fell to her side and she gathered the fabric of the sheets into her hands. Finn knew he did something right, so he did it again. When he did, she cried out "_Finn!"_ and bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from crying out again.

He did it two or three more times until Rachel's walls squeezed against his cock, and she trembled from head to toe, breathing his name as she came.

That's all it took for Finn. He grasped her hips with both of his hands and pushed into her two or three more times before he was able to ride it out with her.

When he was done, the two of them collapsed in heaving breaths and glazes of sweat. After a moment or two, he reluctantly pulled out of her and enveloped her in his arms. Feeling the chill in the air, Rachel wiggled one of her arms free and pulled the quilt over the two of them before resonating to his cuddles.

She felt her face split into a smile, and before she could even catch her breath, found herself giggling and crying all at the same time.

Finn felt her body shake with the hysterics and wiped the tears away with his thumb. She was so adorable, he couldn't help but laugh himself; "What is it, babe?" he said with a softened, cautious chuckle.

"It was," she said between a laugh-cry, "It was _so good!_ I don't even know why I was so-" she sniffled tactlessly, "scared in the first place!" she laugh-sobbed as she finished and pulled herself tight against him. "Thank you." she said, wiping the tears away from the corner of her eyelids.

Finn rubbed her cheek with this thumb and every feature on his face was still and apprehensive, "Thanks for what?"

"For everything. For not giving up on us; for being honest with me; for loving me. Thanks for _you."_

"Rachel, I just- I love you so much." Was all he could manage.

Rachel reached up and pulled his face to her own. She kissed him slow and deep and allowed one tear of gratitude slide down her face. How did she get so lucky?

"I love you, too."


End file.
